The Chronicles Of Nonsense
by HoiHoiSoi
Summary: What do our heros do on their spare time. Well, they don't train, improve magic skills, or even save the world. Read as you see what they are really like when boredom takes over their souls!
1. Chapter 1 : Probably it's just me

**Chapter 1: Probably it's just me, but most probably it's due to you….**

"Ryan! WHERE ARE YOU!"

Lire was searching the room. Ryan was nowhere to be found. Elesis, Arme, Lass and Ronan were in the same room. Elesis, was sharpening her blade for no apparent reason, or at least that's what she wants Ronan to think. Arme, was reading her book of spells and was particularly looking at a spell called 'The Wishing Well'. Lass on the other hand was looking outside the window trying to comprehend the fact that he wasn't as good looking as Ronan. And Ronan finally, well, he knew something was about to happen, it's not every day Elesis sharpens her blade.

But there was one more character. One more hidden character in the room. Lurking in the shadows. His presence was unnerving. Oh but don't get me wrong, it was unnerving for him, not for everyone else. The character peered at the solid wooden structure about 3 centimeters away from the tip of his nose. Droplets of sweat came dripping down his forehead. He knew, if he had been found, death could be prominent.

"Man! Where did he run off to!" Lire let off a sigh.

"Knock it off, Lire, you know why he isn't here…." Elesis advised Lire as she glanced at Ronan, razor sharp teeth showing.

"Why! WHY! WWWWHHHHHHHYYYYYY!" Lire started to irritate everyone as usual with her almost childlike voice. She was definitely a Loli as Ronan would say, after all he was close to an otaku in certain terms.

The figure was calm and collected making sure he would not be found.

"FOUND YOU RYAN!" Lire exclaimed.

The figure leapt into shock and his head clearly hit the wooden underside of the bed bunk hard.

"AHA! SO THERE WAS WHERE YOU WERE HIDING HUH!"

Lire shifted her attention entirely to the rattling bed bunk across the room. The character cursed himself under his breath.

"What to do….if I don't escape…..I will…."

"GOTCHA!" Flipped open the mattress and underneath lay Ryan. "TRY IT!" Lire shouted as her weapon of mass destruction quickly entered into Ryan's field of comfort.

Quickly and steadily Ryan maneuvered his body sideways. Lire's attack missed! Now it was Ryan who had the opportunity. He used executed his special skill….RRRRRUUUUUNNNNNNN!

He leapt into the air, landed skillfully and then out the door he ran.

"WAIT!" Lire jumped after him.

The room became suddenly quiet.

"Ronan…" Elesis called out to him.

Ronan turned to Elesis feeling uncomfortable. "Yes?" He replied.

"It's time to die…." Elesis's face turned black as her sword shone under the lamp light near her.

"KYAAAAHHHH!" Ronan's epic screech of girliness filled the room as he leapt out of the window into the battle grounds below where other GrandChasers were practicing combat moves. Behind, Elesis followed.

Lass and Arme was left.

"Say….." Lass started. "Want to have dinner out?"

"Sure….." Arme looked at Lass for a moment and then turned back to her book.

_-Near the girls toilet-_

"DAMN! SHE ALMOST GOT ME!" Ryan was in another safe spot. Or at least he thought he was. It was in some bushes near the girl's toilet. Ryan was lucky he recalled Ronan asking him to follow him spy on the girl's toilet one night. They camped in the thick bushes right behind the toilet. Nothing interesting particularly happened that night, only that when they were back. Elesis had a giant spear in one hand and a giant sword in the other. And then all hell broke loose, at least for Ronan that is.

He waited patiently, he could hear Lire calling him not far behind. He kept calm and still. Waiting, just waiting….

And then, he heard something. Something…..

"So, how has your boyfriend been?"  
"Yea, he's okay…."

Ryan knew what that meant instantly. A very important thing came into his mind….THERE WERE GIRLS IN THE GIRL'S TOILET!

His manly hormones were rushing about his body. He could see angels around him. They all told him. "Peep Ryan….peep…."

And without further thought. He leapt up into the air, almost reaching the ledge when….a fast and accurate object jabbed itself into his mouth. He could feel blood gushing out. Where was the enemy, what was it in his mouth? Was he going to die! Questions raced through his mind. Then, he understood it immediately. He tried to stop it, but he couldn't. He swallowed what was in his mouth and then opened it wide as blood gushed out of it. A single metal spoon fell out from his mouth and landed on the concrete floor.

"HOW WAS IT RYAN?" He heard Lire's faint voice. "WAS MY DISH ANY BETTER THIS TIME!" He heard her once more. "Ah! Ryan! You're bleeding severely! You're….goi…d…ie….don….di…." Her voice faded into an endless void.

Ryan, he could see heaven. He knew it because he had seen it many times. Was he going to touch it this time? His hand reached out but before he could, he woke up, in his bed once more.

"RYAN! YOU'RE AWAKE! THANK GOD!" Lire was partly crying partly happy.

"There…there…." Ryan patted Lire on the head gently. He loved this girl so much but yet feared her too….

"I prepared some food so that you got well better!" Lire smiled and chugged a spoonful of who knows what into Ryan.

"GGGWAAAAAAHHHHH!"

Once more….Ryan could see heaven….again….

**+ Chapter 1 end +**


	2. Chapter 2 : The boy in Blue is Red

**Chapter 2: The boy in blue is red**

"God….what did I do….." Ronan whispered under his breath as he was running across the field. Behind him, chairs, knives, buses, trees and shotguns came flying towards him. Ronan, the knight of magic, skillfully dodged them as usual. He knew he would pay dear for what he had done. If he had done anything wrong that is. Though there was one thing on his mind that kept bugging him. Was it wrong for him to have done that? He did not know…..

_-Several hour earlier-_

Ronan as usual was taking a leisurely stroll down towards the cafeteria. Of course, like every other day, he had an ulterior motive.

"I will…..HIDE IN THE GIRL'S LOCKER ROOM!"

That sentence screamed in his mind. He was not Ronan anymore, he was…THE CREEP! In any case. Ronan was looking for trouble as he would always be either beaten up or thrown half way out of town after these 'events' in which is his favorite hobby. Ronan had often said

"I am not a pervert, I only have passion in women."

Then again, he liked bishoujo lolis too which obviously made him a pedophile in mind and a pervert in soul. As usual, he walked over to the cafeteria like always and then into the kitchen where he found his teacher, the knight master. As usual, he was waiting for Ronan. He peered at Ronan with a glare as Ronan walked pass him, and as he did, the knight master said…..

"Make us proud….once again Ronan…."

And with that he provided a thumbs up. Yes, Ronan was determined to get actual footage of girls changing right in front of him. Topless most probably! Even better, if they needed to change into their PE gym pants. Ronan was getting hives from the excitement. But as his master had said over and over again.

"A patient pervert, IS A TRUE PERVERT!"

And this of course is true. As Ronan approached the girl's PE changing room, he turns to the readers, yes, you, the one reading this now. The one who is either disgusted at him, or waiting to see what he discovers! THE EPICNESS!

"All of you….." Ronan says in a cool and collected tone.

"Do not…..try this at home…." And with that, our brave spell knight entered the never ending illusion of great paradise, for guys at least. He walked behind the changing room, and there he touched a small spot which seemed to have been slightly dented. The wall of the changing room slid open and he peered directly and saw something. He would describe it as.

'2 water balloons…..'

With red long hair and currently only in her bra and panties, there stood our heroin. Elesis. They were looking at each other at that exact moment. After all, the secret wall did lead directly to Elesis's locker. Ronan, the expert did everything calmly as he saw Elesis's peachy white skin glittering (As most perverts would see it) especially on those two water balloons on her chest. Ronan looked at her and then turned away.

"I didn't see anything…." And with that he shut the wall behind him. A hand of enormous power came crashing through the wall. Ronan took note of this, and then heard a chant of pure evil.

"You….bastard…NOW I'LL NEVER GET MARRIED!"

It repeated like a broken recorder and that was obviously the signal to.

"RUN FOR HIS LIFE!" And our hero and pervert starts running, running, running for his life. He rushed towards the canteen and then passes the knight master.

"I GOT IT!" The knight master saw him and quickly shut the giant metal door right next to him. Suddenly a hand broke the metal apart and caught the knight master on his collar.

"You….PERVERTSSSSSSS!"

That was basically the end of the knight master. His bloody screams could be heard from where Ronan was.

"I'm sorry master…." Ronan shed a tear as he ran and ran. Finally he managed to get up to the Grand Chase Special Unit room. He opened the door and rushed into it. There, he saw Lire frantically looking for Ryan. Lass and Arme were 'as intimate as ever' to him although they were having no physical contact at all. And with that, he took a chair and sat there staring outside the window. Soon afterwards, the door to their room slammed open. Elesis walked in, with her giant sword. She sat down right beside him and started sharpening. And well, if you read chapter one, you'd know what is happening.

_-Back to the story-_

So Ronan ran as things came flying towards him. Even his knight master was used as a weapon and it was clear he did not survive the fight with Elesis. After running around the field about eighty times with Elesis right behind him, Ronan was feeling less and less lucky. And well, his prediction came true. A giant radio hit him in the head.

"GWAHAAA!" His face landed on the dirt as both his hands sprawled onto the ground. He quickly got up and regained his composure, but it seems Elesis had caught up to him. She wielded her giant sword like a mad man. Her eyes flickered with sparks and her smile had gone completely crooked. Ronan knew his sword skills had to be put to the test. He took out his magical sword from behind and flipped back a few times. Elesis came charging towards him.

"KANAVAN STRIKE!"

Ronan charged his sword into the ground and a magic circle appeared around him. Blue daggers came flying up from the ground. Elesis, could not attack, she was right in the middle of the attack Ronan had casted and then it happened…..a chain reaction….OF EPIC POPORTIONS!

"KYAAAAAAHHH!" The daggers that rose from the ground sliced Elesis! OR AT LEAST THEY SLICED AWAY HER CLOTHES! Because she wasn't wearing her armor. Neither was she wearing her bra at that time. Ronan and everyone Elesis stared at her. Certainly it was the end of Ronan. Even during the spell was casted, Elesis quickly grabbed Ronan's collar and….

"YOU'RE DEADDDDDDDD!"

-This part was censored 18 and above due to too much violence and gore from Elesis's epicness-

Ronan….was buried alive that day, right in the middle of the field….


	3. Chapter 3 : Of strawberries and panties

**Chapter 3 – Of strawberries and panties  
**

"I can't remember the day I met her. Wait, I can actually. The first time, when our eyes first met. I can still recall the sweet scent…."

"Of her panties…."

_-About 3 years back-_

Lass was still a trainee back then, a rookie at the art of the ninja. He was a super rookie however, everything he shot hit and every blow he threw could send a normal person flying over five meters. He did not have any weakness, nor did he have any interests. Games, manga, porn and many other things were often disregarded as trash to him. And one thing he hated especially, he called them 'the other species', and that is… GIRLS!

And then one fine day, Lass the handsome, white haired, often Sasuke referenced character in the Grand Chase who is much less emo than that guy from Naruto, it hit. Cupid's arrow struck him in the heart. And this is the story of how it did.

In a land far far far away, from where the author is writing this fan fiction now. There lived a boy. His name was Lass. He was an arrogant, no jokes assassin who worked for the Grand Chase, a group of monster hunting individuals who kept the land of Bermesiah safe. Or at least, until season two where they travelled across to the other surrounding islands.

In any case, he enrolled in the Grand Chase, due to the fact that he was of course, too cool not to. And with that, he became a trainee under the guidance of the great master of the ninja arts, whom I find no need to indulge into. Lass trained hard and trained smart, sharpening his skills in mind and body. His reflexes were so quick, it could be used as an alternative for wind magic because it generated so much cold wind and coolness too.

I'd say it was about 2 years after he joined the academy in which a significant event occurred that changed his life forever.

_-During that time- (Due to the fact the author is confused with the years already, he just put this)_

Lass was doing his normal training as usual. His strict schedule in which makes him start his day from 5 in the morning to 3 at night was in play as usual. He got up and went to the field. Some other trainees were there too. He figured it would be a pretty normal day, but he would soon find out, he would not sleep that night.

He trained hard and smart. Doing exercises and crash courses in which the academy of Grand Chase provided. Most of the time, he would have his fans watch him train all day, and that day was not an exception. Lass recognized majority of who was standing there already, the 'other species' he would call them. They would concentrate their 'sleazy' eyes all over his body. It felt like he was standing naked right in their eyes. "Those perverted looks" Lass would always quote, and it was true. His fans were all, crazy for him. And this created his phobia for girls ever since primary school.

_-Primary School-_  
Girl: Hey Lass! I like you!  
Lass: Aha! I like you too! (Still naïve)

_-Junior High-_  
Girl: Hey Lass! You're so cute! Wanna go out some time?  
Lass: Aha! Probably not. I am kind of busy. (Being aware of girls)

_-Senior High-_  
Girl: Hey Lass, do you want to have some tea?  
Lass: What? Never! YOU GIRLS! YOU! EVIL PERVERTS! (Already has his phobia for girls)  
Girl: Lass! I'm your sister!  
Lass: Aha….and what's the difference….  
Girl: ….  
Lass: ...  
Girl: Tea?  
Lass: NEVER!

_-Back to the story-_

And that was how his phobia was created. The sad truth, that everybody, every girl he had known so far fell for his beauty. And that is why Lass often monologues to himself.

"These fools. They will never understand the pain of being so gorgeous and beautiful. I can never have a day alone. God….I hate myself…."

And that also created his self-abusing phobia.

And then it just happened. That night at about eleven o'clock when everyone had gone back to their dorms. Lass was practicing his meditation. The air was cool and crisp. His mind was clear and nothing else was holding his thoughts back. Lass concentrated hard, he visualized himself, fighting Gaikoz. He could still remember his first encounter with and then it just happened. That night at about eleven o'clock when everyone had gone back to their dorms. Lass was practicing his meditation. The air was cool and crisp. His mind was clear and nothing else was holding his thoughts back. Lass concentrated hard, he visualized himself, fighting Gaikoz. He could still remember his first encounter with him.

_-Back then-_

Gaikoz: Hello Lass….do you know who I am?  
Lass: Y…You're….Ga…GAIKOZ!  
Gaikoz: Yes, that is right….hahhaahahahha!  
Lass: You god damn…..PERVERT!  
Gaikoz: How can you call your father a pervert!  
Lass: You….bastard! Touched my sister when she was young!  
Gaikoz: She couldn't bathe at that time and was afraid of water. He…HEY! WAIT! DON'T ADDRESS YOUR FATHER LIKE THAT!  
Lass: NOOOOO! PERVERT!  
Gaikoz: WHAT THE HELL! Also, to all the readers. In this fan fiction. I am Lass father. And I like cosplaying! Believe it!  
Lass: Stop using reference from Naruto damn it!

_-End of flash back-_

His evil perverted father was his aim to destroy or rather sue in the future. And the it happened. Lass could sense something in the air. Something sweet like strawberries, after being pickled of course. He smelled it in the air. Closer, closer, even closer! And then it hit him. And it really did.

"KYAAAAAA!" The next thing he could see was stripped panties. And with that final vision he fell back onto the ground, a heavy who knows what was on him. The stench of what Lass would describe as 'strawberries from those little air refreshers was flooding his brain with weird messages. He could feel 2 cushy almost like soft water balloons on his face. Somehow there was little gap but there was indeed between them.

Lass tried to breathe he opened his mouth, but once again the cushy whatever thing on top of him stopped him in his tracks. His lungs were about to explode.

"UNYAAA!" Whatever that was on him jumped back, or rather jumped of him. And that was when Lass finally got a mouthful of air after about 3 minutes or so. "U….UWA! A…..ARE YOU ALRIGHT!" He felt two hands grabbed him by arms and shoke him violently as if trying to KILL HIM! "NYAAA! SOMEBODY! NYUUUU! A PERSON! HAS! UGUUUUUU!" The voice seemed to be bad at responding to such situations.

"UWAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Suddenly he felt hot liquid run down his face. Lass was able to gain back a bit of mobility. "What in the world?" He muttered as he got up slowly. Suddenly an image formed under in his view. A short haired boy, purple in color looked on at him. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life. Such a beautiful boy, he had fallen in love with him. It was then, he finally knew, the sad truth…..

…HE WAS ATTRACTED TO GUYS!

Of course it was then when he noticed something hanging on this 'guy's chest. His eyes were not mistaken. Those were…..

….THE THINGS GIRLS HAVE! (Lass hates girls to the extent he can't say it out the word itself)

That means, this guy is actually a GIRL! And thus it was when this qwerky relationship of Lass and Arme began. Of course, this is just Lass's side of the story. It shall be resumed of course…

…from Arme's point of view in the next chapter….

Until then…..please support…..GIRLS WHO WEAR STRAWBERRY PANTIES!


	4. Chapter 4 : Girls are boys in many ways

**Chapter 4 : Girls are boys in many ways**

"That's it, I've come here. My parents, the great warriors of Bermesiah met here too. I too shall look for her…"

"MY PERFECT WOMAN!"

_-The story of how Arme met Lass-_

"That was the first time I ever saw her. Although it was a rather weird meeting. I landed on her. The graceful and sweet innocent girl with grey hair. It was then, I felt a surge of excitement. I had found my true lover. A great wife….."

Arme the purple hair witch looked on as she saw her beautiful maiden arise from her deep slumber. Her silvery grey hair slowly ensured that Arme's eyes were kept locked on to her. It was like a dazzling spell.

"T…This is the moment. I finally found a lovely maiden!" She thought.

"I found a wife! WHO SAYS HOMOSEXUALS CAN'T GET WIVES!"

_-. . . . . . -_

The author would like to reconfirm with the readers. Yes, that word there is homosexual or bisexual. Yes, we are talking about Arme. And yes, the person in Arme's hands right now is Lass. And yes, Lass is also slightly gay. This is the overall summary or so you can see here.

Arme looked at the girl. She was flat but still, she didn't care. Such a cute face, she would never forget it. "AH! YOU'RE AWAKE!" Arme looked around to see if there were any medics in the area. "Ah….I forgot…..it's one in the morning…." She mumbled to herself as she continued to scan the area.

"W…who are you?" A rather coarse voice came out from the girl's throat. That was when Arme realized something weird. She somehow, SOMEHOW managed to see part of the girl's underwear. And it was not panties, but instead was underwear which guys wear! Processing all the information in her mind.

"Sh….SHE'S A GUY! NOOOOOOOOOO!"

Suddenly hot liquid ran down her face. "NOOOOOOO!" She threw him fifty feet into the air and MAXIMUM SPEED back to her dorm. In which she cried for five days and five nights, for some epicly unknown reason, after all it was more of like a minute and a half interaction only. However, she could not forget his face, it was so…..CUTE! It looked like those girls you would see in shoujo mangas. Smooth pale skin, greyish hair, deep blue eyes and slim body figure. He was a Loli character or at least to her.

Arme, after regaining back her composure, went on with life normally and all her ties ended with Lass after that. The End.

JUST KIDDING! OF COURSE! NO WAY THE STORY IS THAT NORMAL! WHAT DID YOU THINK SHE DID! OF COURSE! SHE STALKED LASS! AS A PERVERT OF COURSE! THIS STORY JUST WOULDN'T GO ON WITHOUT PERVERTS WOULDN'T IT!

_-The next day-_

Arme looked anxiously as she crept slowly over to the boy's side of the fence. Her butt still hurt from yesterday due to her false incantations which erupted the anger of the wind spirit in her magic lamp. In which sent her flying towards the boy's side. In any case, she crept through a small hole in the fence one of her friends found. Just in case why you are wondering what is the use for this fence, the truth is, in the academy for some weird reason, the girls are more perverted than the boys and they often creep through this fence to spy on the guys dorm.

And so, she walked slowly as the morning sun lit the dark alley way leading to the back door of the boy's dorm. She strolled quickly as beads of sweat ran down her face. Suddenly, another pair of footsteps could be heard. Arme noticed this and quickly strolled on forward, the sound was from behind her.

"STOP!" A voice, a guy's voice could be heard.

Arme didn't know what to do but continue running towards the boys dorm. And this was when a cold hand touched her shoulder. She was about to screech when she turned behind. She saw a face….the face…..

…THAT MADE HER NOSE BLEED!

It was Lass.

"Wha…what are you doing here!" Arme shouted as she looked at Lass. Lass couldn't answer but knew something was wrong. "Wait…you're in the boy's dorm…..aren't I suppose to ask that!" Lass exclaimed.

"Ugu…..don't let me call the police!" Arme exclaimed.  
"I SHOULD BE THE ONE CALLING THE POLICE!" Lass countered.  
"NO! WAIT! YOU LISTEN!"  
"NO! YOU LISTEN!"  
"GRR! STOP IT!"  
"STOP WHAT!"  
"COPYING ME!"  
"JUST LISTEN TO ME!"  
"AND LISTEN TO ME TOO!"

And then in unison, out of anger, rage and frustration.

"I LIKE YOU! DAMMIT!"

-. . . . . .-

That was how their twisted and weird relationship began. They started going out with each other. Everyone around them admired the pair. Beautiful and evenly matched. Even their attitudes countered each other perfectly. But what they could not see was that, the both were not looking at each other as girl and boy.

Arme was thinking she was going out with another girl. Lass on the other hand, kept a steady mind on believing that Arme was a boy. So this twisted relationship was in full bloom. The epicness of it was incredible, for those who knew of course. Such as yours truly, the author. Who initially wanted to make it a bit more nonsensical.

So in an effort to increase their love-o-meter. Lass had already introduced Arme to his father Gaikoz. Who instantly approved for he as a cosplayer could not resist little girls pretending to be witches. On the other hand Arme had brought Lass to see her mother Kaze Aze. She as a super epic gaming fan of majority Bishoujo H-Games also could not resist Lass who looked exactly like the boy from one of those Rated 18 H-games.

And with that they began to start dating. And eventually, they both got into the Grand Chase squad. Joining killer x tomboy, Elesis. Super pervert and boyfriend of the killer, Ronan. Queen of deadly cooking, Lire. And minor and apparentice pervert, Ryan.

That is their story. And these epic characters make up the team Grand Chase! Now since the part of Grand Chase is done, let's move on shall we?

Now, onto the villains of this story. Mari, Sieghart, Jin and Amy. Of course, they are not as bad as they sound, although yes, evil has many ways to lurk around, most importantly with tentacles of pervertedness. Continue with the next chapter to find out. The evilness of Jin!


	5. Chapter 5 : The Red Haired Demon

**Chapter 5 : The Red Haired Demon**

The day has dawned upon him. His final test. The boy with red hair has emerged from the darkness of the catacombs of Bermesiah.

"You're free to go…." Guards clenched their teeth as they heard their leader said that.

"Give my thanks to the years I spent underground…." Jin smiled, grinned with an evil aura around him. Everyone held their breath as the young boy with red hair walked slowly away from them. His red eyes had darted around the guards, warning them about the impending danger he was soon to throw the world into. The sheet of brown cloth wrapped around his covered his neck to his toes, as though telling the world he was a separate being from everyone else.

"The world is about to be screwed…." And with that a gust of wind blew at him. His brown sheet blew in the wind. His red hair fluttered. A strong sense of power surged the air (Or probably it was just the wind). The brown sheet soon blew off into the sky. And then thousands of cards spread and flew high up into the air. This was Jin's power. The cards that told fate.

"The world is yet to face the wraph of…CHILDREN'S CARD GAMES!"

Wait what…? Nyeh….whuteva…

_-Grand Chase Academy-_

"Hey! Lass! You wanna go get some girls?" Ronan shouted as he walked pass Lass.

"I'm right in front of you dammit! Stop shouting! And no! You know I only go for Shotas." Lass replied

"…."

"You got some serious issues man…." And with that Ronan took a hike and went to the girl's locker room. Yes, he definitely took a hike…..to heaven…..the details will not be revealed as the murder (temporary) or Ronan was too gruesome to even describe. I mean it has to be temporary right? I mean it's only chapter 7 dammit!

As Ronan made his way, a guard burst through the Grand Chase's most elite team's door. " It's terrible! Serdin! It's under attack!"

Everyone turned their attention to the sweating guard. He was breathing profusely like he had ran a marathon.

"It's…he was released just a few days ago. It's Red Head Jin!"

Lass darted his eyes around the room and looked at everyone.

"This…..it's him….." Sweat started forming on his face. "W….Who is he again?" Of course Lass didn't want to sound stupid. If it was in manga form you'd probably laugh, too bad the author can't draw…..

Everyone shook their head as a sign of denial. Nobody knew.

"YOU NEED TO SAVE SERDIN! IT'S BEING OVERRUNNED BY HIM AS WE SPEAK!" The guard exclaimed as he looked at them once more.

"Fine, we'll take a look at how bad this guy is…." Lass chuckled as he looked at Serdin outside their window. No black clouds, no smoke, no fire, no lightning, no pretty girls, no newspapers, no books, no keyboards, no iPhones, no paintbrushes, no slow internet connection, no webcams, no coffee mugs, no quadratic equations, no Daemon tools lite. Looks fine from his point of view. Lass dislikes a lot of things…..believe me.

But they were going to check it out anyways.

"Let's go handle this already! I need to cook dinner for Ryan!" Lire exclaimed as she held out a giant computer screen in front of her giant boiling pot of whatever. Next to it were some tentacles, Ryan's wallet ,a giant shotgun and a lunchbox. She picked up the lunch box and then took a ladle full of who knows what boiling hot soup. She looked as if she was going to put the soup into the lunchbox, but that hot soup in a plastic lunchbox? It was bound to melt and Lire knew it. So instead….she put the lunch box on the ladle and lowered it into the soup. It melted. Death was in the stench that surrounded the soup. Ryan already could be certain his grave site was going to be near.

"Le…let's get going!" Ryan said nervously. And so they moved out. Arme held her magic book up and casted a spell. With that a magical gateway of epic proportions opened up linking their room to the city of Serdin. The main reason why she did this was because the author was lazy and did not know how to write about the journey they had and he lacked puns as well. So we'll do it this way and Arme pitied the author for his lack of self-esteem in writing puns.

They all walked into the portal and instantly reached Serdin. All except for Ronan of course.

"T….THIS IS!" Lass exclaimed as the horror striked him. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Children, hundreds upon hundreds. Carrying a pack cards. Cards which once ruined Lass's life.

"IT'S YU-*toot*-OH!" The following has been censored as to avoid copyright law suits.

The horror! Everybody had one! They walked the streets. Adults! Kids! Orcs! Trolls! Internet Trolls! Gaikoz! Gardosen! Kamiki! Joey Wheeler! THEY ALL HAD THESE CARDS! They watched in horror as everyone fought with each other.

"I CHOOSE YOU! DARK MAGICIAN! USE YOUR BUBBLE BLAST!"  
"I CHOOSE YOU! SUPERMAN! USE YOUSHOOT DA WHOOP!"  
"I CHOOSE YOU! MAGICARP! USE YOUR SPLASH ATTACK!"

And in the center of it, stood one lone boy. With red hair that covered his entire head. He was looking upon the hundreds sitting on the ground of Serdin, playing these card games.

And then, the boy's eyes flashed as he turned his attention to the crowd of non-players.

"Hehehehahahahhaha! So…..you're the Grand Chase I suppose!" He exclaimed looking at their badges and armour. "Serdin has been overtaken by me! Nothing! Not even you can stop me now! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Suddenly an epicly fast kunai flew over and striked Jin on the forehead. Blood splashed all over the floor. Jin fell to the ground.

"Done….can we go back now?" Lass said as he was about to turn back. But then out of no where. Jin reappeared from behind of Lass.

"You cannot kill me…..I am invincible!" He exclaimed. "I train this body in the forests of Ellia when I was young all day long, to build up these super body parts of mine. You know why!" His voice trembled with great aura as he spoke. "….TO PLAY CHILDREN'S CARD GAMES!" His reason sucks….but still he was physically indestructible. He's super hot body and epicly toned muscles proved that. He was way more attractive than the whole Grand Chase combined.

Everyone took a step away from Jin as they knew he was too powerful (of a wierdo) for them to comprehend.

Jin raised his hand towards all of them. "I CHALLENGE YOU TO A CHILDREN'S CARD GAME!"

Elesis stood out from the rest of the crowd. "I'll battle you…" She said with a lot of confidence. "You know why….?" She smirked with an evil grin "BECAUSE I HAVE RED HAIR TOO!" wait what….? "And I played those things when I was like 5…." Ahhh…that makes more sense….

And thus the battle commenced.

Elesis took out a deck of cards. It was old. Really old. Old as hell. Old as yellow pages' phone directory books which many don't seem to use. "This deck was the legendary deck I created when I was 5….are you ready?" Elesis withdrew a single card and put it on the floor they were sitting on.

"Let me show you the skill that I obtained when fighting the orc lord back in the day for everyday in my life!" Jin withdrew a single card as well.

"HYAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! TSUBAME TENKOKU!" He made that name on the spot. In any case. His cards flew into the air like a comet and then swiftfully landed on the floor with a great orange aura.

"I GET TO ATTACK FIRST!" Elesis said as she flipped her card. "MAGICIAN'S VALKYRIA!" She exclaimed as she flipped her card over.

"TOO BAD!" Jin flipped his card over. "MECHANICAL DRAGON! GO!" And with that Elesis took her card and put it over the side. It had lost. How epic was that for first round!

Elesis looked at the five cards she had in her hand. "DAMN!" She picked another card out and put it on the playing field, slowly. Her eyes shined like gleaming rubies.

"Kukukukuku…..TSUBAME TENKOKU!" Yet another card flew into the sky from Jin's deck and landed with a red aura this time. And with an evil grin, he stared at Elesis, with pure evil intentions! To beat her in the card game of course….

"TAKE THIS MECHANICAL DRAGON! BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON!" She flipped her card revealing the stunning dragon in which is often used in the anime of Yu-*toot*-Oh.

"Nice try…" Jin said as he removed his mechanical dragon from his field. "BUT NOT GOOD ENOUGH! DARK MAGICIAN! ATTACK HER!" He exclaimed flipping over the closed card,. It revealed a purple man in a stylish pose holding his staff.

"AH! DAMN!" Elesis removed her blue eyes out of the way.

The game continued.

Elesis took out one card. Grinning again as she did. "You're gonna go down with this one! Kid!" She shouted at him.

"TSUBAME TENKOKU!" Jin's card once again flew into the air and this time landed with fire all over it. "It's fire proof. Don't worry…" He added as they continued the match.

"TAKE THIS! RAINBOW DRAGON!" Elesis flipped her card and pointed at the Dark Magician.

"DAMN! YOU GOT ME GOOD!" Jin really wanted to keep the stylish card but had to transfer it to the graveyard deck. "BUT! THIS WILL BLOW YOU AWAY!"

"BLUE EYES ULTIMATE DRAGON!"

"What!" Lass exclaimed.  
"ERGHHHH!" Ryan grunted.  
"I….IMPOSSIBLE!" Lire exclaimed.  
"Ah…..what happened…" Arme was blur.

"WHATTTTT!" Elesis exclaimed as she saw the card.

"YOU CANNOT BEAT ME! YOU UNDERSTAND!" Jin released a fearful aura. "NOBODY BEATS ME AT YU-*TOOT*-OH!" Jin was too powerful, just too powerful. This dastardly villain had bested out the Grand Chase. How will they save Serdin! HOW! OH HOW!

And then….

"heeeeeeyyyyy!" A call from far away could be heard. "I GOT IT! I GOT IT!" The voice sounded so familiar. A boy with blue shirt covered with litres of dried blood came running up! It was…..it was….oh…..it was just Ronan…..

"I GOT IT! MAN! YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS!" Ronan exclaimed as he reached his teammates. They gave a sigh.

"What now…." Lass asked in a very depressed voice knowing nothing good would come from him.

"I…I GOT NUDE PICTURES FROM THE GRAND CHASE ACADEMY GIRL'S LOCKER ROOM!" He exclaimed, everybody heard. Their card….fell to the ground.

The shouted at him one by one.

"S….SERIOUSLY!"  
"WOW! I NEEDA HAVE A LOOK!"  
"I BET THERE ARE LOLI SHOTS THERE!"  
"YOU GOT THEM! NUDE! SERIOUSLY!"  
"LOLIIIIISSSSSS!"

And soon, everyone crowded around Ronan and forgot about the card game.

"This….this…this is not…" Jin was shocked as he dropped his cards as well. "GRRRR! YOU FOILED MY PLAN YOU!" He extended his index finger at Ronan.

"I…I'LL REMEMBER THIS! JUST YOU WAIT! I…I'LL DESTROY! DESTROY YOU ALL WITH MY CHILDREN'S CARD GAMES! JUST YOU WAIT! JUST YOU WAIT!" And with that Jin ran away crying. And thus the day was saved by Ronan and his nude shots of girls from the Grand Chase.

"Good job!" Lire exclaimed as she pat Ronan on his back. Every member smiled at him. Ronan didn't know what he just did but just smiled back. After a full afternoon on reviewing the nude photos, they headed back.

Later that night, Ronan went missing. He was eventually found pierced full with swords, arrows and axes in the girl's locker room. A sad ending for our perverted hero.

Of course, he doesn't die there! He has much more epicly perverted things to do!

_-to be continued-_


	6. Chapter 6: Don't catch falling girls!

**Chapter 6: Don't catch falling girls!  
**

Pure evil is our next character in the story. It is the story of such a powerful villain, the world fears him. Men from all over curse him for their lives. So many years, so many many years it has been. After all he has lived much much longer than anyone else in the world. Sieghart! Curse you! Even I, the author hates you! Because you are….the ultimate male species!

_-In a castle somewhere is Bermesiah-_

*Ring! Ring!*

"Hello? No! I can't! I'm busy! No! I told you I'm not interested in girls damn it! Stop calling me!"

*Slam!*

*Ring! Ring!*

"Hello? Miss Stepheny? No! I don't like you! I went on a date because you were my teacher last time! And besides it was just a class outing right!"

*Slam!*

*Ring! Ring!*

"Ah! Mary! Just who I was looking for. Did you get those letters delivered? Ah! Great! Huh? No! I just asked it as a favour! I'm not interested in dating you!"

*Slam!*

*Ring! Ring!*

"AHHHHHHH!"

*SLAM!* *Crush! Bang! THUMP!*

"Finally shut up….."

This is the average day of Sieghart. Every day, he goes through at least 400 phone calls from girls who want to date him. Such an evil villain! Killing the hopes and dreams of girls with just a 10 second conversation! BAD BOY! BAD BOY! Ahem! I…I mean….and so it turns out that today will be a different day for Sieghart as he needs to go to Serdin….To buy a new phone! Sieghart is usually stalled up in the house most of the time because he is afraid his looks will attract too much women. And the only thing he hates more that women are girls. So either way, he locks himself in his castle all day, reads the daily news every day, play the share market and drink tea. He has quite a normal life and he likes his life. Everybody else hates it.

"Damn! Out on a trip to the city again!" He sat down on his chair. "I need to make myself look insignificant…But how….." Sieghart thought to himself. He hates walking, jumping, walking, running, walking, doing stuff, walking and most importantly walking. Sieghart sits all day, and somehow that ass of his never seems to get butt cramps. That too makes him everybody his arch nemesis.

"I GOT IT!" Sieghart had a great idea! "I'll walk there! With a cloth! On my face!" He thought for a while. "Oh wait…I forgot…..I hate walking…." And so he continued to think. He made a really cool face which would get any girl he wanted. In you had a girlfriend, or you are a girl, beware! This stare of his attracts you or her! And so he thought and thought while tapping his fingers to a rhythmic beat.

"All this thinking has made me tired…." Sieghart said after like 30 seconds of thinking. "I want some milk and cookies!" He exclaimed and within a few seconds his fairy servants who were dressed up stylishly in the latest fashion with reference from Touhou delivered them. Also, this is a good thing about Sieghart's powers. It only attracts the female species of human beings. So if you're a guy or not a human, you're safe. Sieghart thought hard. Very very hard. So very extremely hard. So hard! So hard I say! So hard!

"Cookies are not supposedly to go with milk!" Sieghart concluded. "Wait…." Sieghart took a piece and dipped it into his cup and bit a small bit off. "IT DOES! IT DOES!" He exclaimed and then calmed down. "So back to the topic of buying a new phone…" Sieghart thought and thought.

"I could take a bus….but I hate walking…."  
"I could take a cab…..but I hate walking…."  
"I could drive a car…..but I hate walking…."  
"I could ride a horse….but I hate walking…."  
"I could see TV…..but I hate walking….wait….that didn't sound right…."

And so in the end he concluded to go to Serdin, he had to walk. And so he started his journey to Serdin.

First, he pushed the door open. Took one step. Saw the ground. Walked back in.

"AM I CRAZY! I COULD DIE FROM WALKING! WHAT WAS I THINKING!"

Sieghart thought some more. Probably I can call Cecelia and ask her get one.

He walked to the phone which was like 2 meters away. "ARRRRGHHHH! MY LEGS! MY LEGS! I HATE WALKING! I HATE WALKING!" Sieghart groaned on the ground as he reached the phone. He extended his hand to the top of the cupboard where he struggled to find the phone. Finally he grabbed onto something. He picked it up. It was his greatest nightmare! He had this experience just a few days ago.

"Flowerpot…nope….." He threw it to one side. It broke.

He went for another go.

"Computer…..nope…." He threw it to one side. It broke as well.  
"Boxers…..nope…." throw.  
"IPod…..nope….." throw.  
"Wallet…..nope….." throw.  
"Toy car…..nope….." throw.  
"Card games on motorcycles…..nope…." throw.

"WHERE THE HELL IS THE PHONE!" He shouted as he stood up and looked at the top of the table. It wasn't there. "THERE IS A THIEF!" He exclaimed and then suddenly he noticed on the floor there were bits and pieces of the phone. "Oh…so that's why I needed to get a phone. Silly me!" He started face palming himself for like ten times for forgetting that he broke it.

"I GOT IT!" Sieghart suddenly exclaimed when he stopped face palming himself. "I'll e-mail the phone company!" He looked beside him. On the ground was a broken computer. Face Palm x 50.

"DAMN!" Sieghart couldn't find a solution to this extremely hard (to him) puzzle. How to buy a phone! He thought and thought and then. "I GOT IT!" Yes, he finally got it after 2 hours of thinking.

"I'll ask the fairies to carry me on a giant wooden carriage and I'll wear a cloth on my head! Now I can go buy a phone and I'll not be noticeable!" He's an idiot…..

In any case, that was the smartest idea he had other than walking. And so his fairies got ready the giant carriage fit for a king and put Sieghart inside it. And with that, they took off to Serdin. After about 5 minutes they reached Serdin. "I could have died walking for 5 minutes!" Sieghart thought. And so they went into Serdin. Everyone was looking at the carriage along with Sieghart who had a cloth over his head at that time. So much for being unnoticeable.

Just at that very moment, the Grand Chase's most elite squad's 2 members, Elesis and Ronan was on the street as well.

"You saw that man!" Ronan turned his head in the direction of the carriage. "Whoever that's inside must be some freakin hot wedding bride!" The usual from Ronan I guess.

"Seriously? Is that all you can think about!" Elesis hit him in the head. "We need to get that phone remember? After you 'threw it to the ground' because of that song you keep hearing over and over again." Elesis sighed and then head on route to the phone shop. They crapped and crapped and crapped, and finally they reached the shop. But to their surprise, but the giant carriage stopped in front as well. The fairies, dressed like Hourai and Shanghai from Touhou sat on its side's drinking water. They were sweating, sweating, sweating. And that only meant one thing.

"Their uniforms are gonna turn translucent!" Ronan exclaimed and immediately ran to the carriage. Elesis ignored this and headed into the shop. There she saw a boy with complete black hair standing in front of the cashier.

Sieghart had taken off the cloth on his head because the shop keeper was a man and because the shop was empty at that time. "NYEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!" He said in a weird manner to the shop keeper. "So, you recommend the one with the hand grip or not?" He asked.

"Anything, just get one already." The owner said looking irritated.

Elesis walked to the counter and took a good look at Sieghart's face. "Ah!" Elesis said as she saw Sieghart. Sieghart immediately countered with 2 hands covering his face. "It's the lazy guy from last time." What! His charms don't work on Elesis! Is this possible! "Broke your phone again?" She asked as she turned to the cashier. "The normal X-95 please." She said and turned back to Sieghart.

Sieghart lowered his guard, after all, his looks didn't seem to affect Elesis that time. 2 weeks back, it was slightly different. "Yea, I guess so. Sucks being me" Sieghart replied. And then, just at that moment, Sieghart realised, has his looks been altered, does he not attract the female species anymore? Yes! It was true! Sieghart was in total joy.

He ran out of the store to look at the world outside. He ran to the middle of the street, passed his fairy servants and Ronan. He fell to the ground. "Damn! My legs again!" By this time, there were a lot of girls outside walking around. They looked at him in the awkward scene.

"It's SIEGHART!"  
"KYAAAAAAAA! IT'S HIM!"  
"I WANT YOUR AUTOGRAPH!"  
"NYAHHHHHH!"

And Sieghart got trampled on really bad on that day. How did he escape? After 4 in the morning, everyone left. And finally he could get up. Sieghart walked to the carriage expressionless and saw a small note.

'Here, I got you a phone while you were busy being trampled. Pay me back the cash the next time you see me, kay?

-Elesis'

Sieghart looked at it and smiled. It was the only good thing that had happened today. And so, he took off, back home, to his giant castle of laziness. And there is entered, sat down and fixed his new phone. And then a call suddenly came in.

*RING! RING!*

"Hello?" Sieghart answered.  
"Yo, this is your editor! You done with today's chapter yet?"  
"Ah! No, sorry! I was busy buying a phone today."  
"I see….can you fax me anything you've done? I'll try to make it work."  
"Sure."

Sieghart put down the phone and gave a really big sigh as sign that he was relieved it wasn't another girl again. He looked to the side, then saw a broken computer.

"!"

He was an idiot and an alpha male after all…

_-Somewhere in the Grand Chase academy-_

"Ma….maybe I do like him after all…." Elesis whispered as she tossed around in his bed.

"Bastard!" She blushed and covered herself with her blanket.

_-To be continued-_


End file.
